INFLUENCEWeeks to result

Backup Mate Strategy

Cultivating alternative mates for insurance and protection

Problem it solves

lack of influence

Best for

Individuals seeking to mitigate the risks of relationship dissolution or seeking to improve their mating outcomes

Not ideal for

Those in happy, committed relationships or with strong moral objections to cultivating alternative mates

Overview

Why this framework exists

The backup mate strategy involves cultivating alternative mates as a means of insurance and protection against the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss. This framework explains why individuals, especially men, may engage in infidelity or seek alternative mates as a means of hedging their bets.

Core principles

3 total
  1. Humans have evolved to prioritize risk management and insurance in their mating strategies.
  2. Cultivating alternative mates can provide a means of protection against the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss.
  3. Individuals may engage in infidelity or seek alternative mates as a means of hedging their bets.

Steps

3 steps
  1. Identify Potential Backup Mates
    Identify potential alternative mates who could provide insurance and protection against the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss.
    Pro tipConsider individuals who are attractive, charming, and have a high mate value.
    WarningBe cautious of the risks associated with cultivating alternative mates, including damage to your current relationship or reputation.
  2. Cultivate Backup Mates
    Cultivate relationships with potential backup mates, including engaging in flirtation, building emotional connections, and providing support and resources.
    Pro tipBe genuine and authentic in your interactions with potential backup mates, and prioritize building trust and rapport.
    WarningBe aware that cultivating alternative mates can be time-consuming and emotionally draining, and may not always yield the desired results.
  3. Maintain Backup Mates
    Maintain relationships with backup mates, including regular communication, emotional support, and resource exchange.
    Pro tipPrioritize building a strong emotional connection with backup mates, and be responsive to their needs and desires.
    WarningBe aware that maintaining backup mates can be challenging, especially if your current relationship is fulfilling and satisfying.

Checklist

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Examples

2 cases
The Case of the Married Man with a Backup Mate

A married man cultivates a relationship with a backup mate, providing emotional support and resources, as a means of insurance against the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss.

OutcomeThe married man's decision to cultivate a backup mate ultimately leads to an affair, highlighting the potential risks and consequences of this strategy.
The Backup Mate Strategy in Modern Relationships

In modern relationships, individuals may cultivate alternative mates as a means of insurance and protection against the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss.

OutcomeThe backup mate strategy can help explain why individuals may engage in infidelity or seek alternative mates, and the potential consequences of such behavior.

Common mistakes

3 traps
Failing to Identify Potential Backup Mates
Neglecting to identify potential alternative mates can leave individuals vulnerable to the risks of relationship dissolution or mate loss.
Overemphasizing Short-Term Gains
Prioritizing short-term benefits, such as sexual variety or emotional excitement, over long-term consequences can lead to poor decision-making and damage to your reputation and relationships.
Underestimating the Risks of Cultivating Backup Mates
Failing to consider the potential risks and consequences of cultivating alternative mates, including damage to your current relationship or reputation, can lead to poor decision-making and negative outcomes.

Origin story

How this framework came to be

The backup mate strategy is rooted in evolutionary psychology, which suggests that humans have evolved to prioritize risk management and insurance in their mating strategies.

Source

Traced to primary
Source · BOOK
When Men Behave Badly The Hidden Roots of Sexual
David M Buss · 2020
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