INFLUENCEWeeks to result

Sexual Reward and Punishment Framework

Using sex as leverage

Problem it solves

lack of influence

Best for

Women in committed relationships

Not ideal for

Men with higher mate value or multiple sexual options

Overview

Why this framework exists

This framework explores how women can use sex as a bargaining tool to influence their partner's behavior. By withholding or granting sex, women can reward or punish their partner, thereby exerting control over the relationship. However, this tactic must be used skillfully, as it can backfire if the man has other sexual options or is higher in mate value.

Core principles

3 total
  1. Sex can be used as a bargaining tool to influence partner behavior
  2. Withholding or granting sex can be an effective way to reward or punish a partner
  3. The tactic must be used skillfully to avoid backfiring

Steps

3 steps
  1. Identify the behavior you want to influence
    Determine what behavior you want your partner to exhibit or change
    Pro tipBe specific and clear about what you want
    WarningAvoid being too vague or unclear
  2. Use sex as a reward or punishment
    Withhold or grant sex based on your partner's behavior
    Pro tipBe consistent and fair in your approach
    WarningAvoid being too manipulative or coercive
  3. Monitor and adjust
    Pay attention to your partner's response and adjust your approach as needed
    Pro tipBe open to feedback and willing to make changes
    WarningAvoid being too rigid or inflexible

Checklist

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Examples

2 cases
Using sex to get a partner to do chores

A woman withholds sex from her partner until he agrees to do the dishes and take her out on a romantic dinner date

OutcomeThe partner complies, and the woman grants sex as a reward
Using sex to punish a partner for infidelity

A woman withholds sex from her partner after discovering his infidelity

OutcomeThe partner becomes remorseful and makes amends, and the woman eventually grants sex as a sign of forgiveness

Common mistakes

3 traps
Being too manipulative
Using sex as a reward or punishment can be seen as manipulative if not done skillfully
Not being consistent
Inconsistency in using sex as a reward or punishment can lead to confusion and mistrust
Not considering the partner's perspective
Failing to consider the partner's feelings and needs can lead to resentment and conflict

Origin story

How this framework came to be

The idea of using sex as a reward or punishment is rooted in the concept of sexual economics, where sex is a scarce resource that can be used to negotiate and influence relationships.

Source

Traced to primary
Source · BOOK
When Men Behave Badly The Hidden Roots of Sexual
David M Buss · 2020
Open source →

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