The Disruptive Engagement Model
Rehumanize work and education by making vulnerability the source of innovation
The Disruptive Engagement Model redefines leadership as 'anyone who holds themselves accountable for finding potential in people and processes' and argues that creativity, innovation, and learning can only flourish when leaders rehumanize their organizations by actively combating shame, embracing vulnerability, and modeling engagement. Brown calls this approach 'disruptive' because honest conversations about vulnerability and shame shine light in dark corners, and once people have language and awareness for these dynamics, turning back is almost impossible.
The model identifies shame as the silent termite infestation of organizational culture: invisible behind the walls but constantly eating away at trust, creativity, and engagement. It provides specific signs for diagnosing whether shame has permeated a culture, including blaming, gossiping, favoritism, perfectionism, cover-ups, and the feeling that only certain emotions are tolerated. The antidote is a leadership approach built on connection, recognition, constructive feedback, clear expectations, and an organizational narrative of 'we are enough.'
The model also includes the Daring Greatly Leadership Manifesto, a set of commitments from people to their leaders that captures what engagement requires: show up beside us, let yourself be seen, give us honest feedback, and dare greatly with us.
- A leader is anyone who holds themselves accountable for finding potential in people and processes, regardless of title.
- Shame works like termites in a house: hidden in the dark, constantly eating at infrastructure, until the whole structure collapses.
- When you shut down vulnerability, you shut down opportunity; there is no vision without vulnerability.
- Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead.
- If you give people a glimpse into the possibility of daring greatly, they will hold on to it as their vision, and it cannot be taken away.
- Diagnose Shame in the CultureLook for signs that shame has permeated the organization: blaming, gossiping, favoritism, name-calling, harassment, cover-ups, perfectionism, the feeling that only certain emotions are acceptable, and a culture where 'heads down, mouths shut' feels like the safest strategy.Pro tipA walk around the office will not reveal a shame problem any more than a walk around a house reveals termites. You need to actively listen, survey, and observe the subtle dynamics of how people interact, especially around mistakes and failures.WarningIf you see overt shaming (a manager berating an employee publicly), the problem is already acute and has likely been happening for a long time. Address it immediately.
- Model Vulnerability as a LeaderDemonstrate the behaviors you want to see: say 'I don't know,' ask for help, admit mistakes, give credit to others, express how you feel, and invite dissenting opinions. Monitor how frequently and openly people in your organization say these phrases as a barometer of vulnerability health.Pro tipBrown lists eighteen phrases that indicate healthy vulnerability in a culture, including: 'I don't know,' 'I need help,' 'I disagree, can we talk about it?', 'It didn't work but I learned a lot,' 'I accept responsibility for that,' and 'I'm sorry.'WarningVulnerability without competence is not leadership. This is not about performing weakness but about being honest in the service of connection, learning, and innovation.
- Replace Shame with Engaged FeedbackEliminate shame-based management (public humiliation, belittling, impossible standards used to maintain control) and replace it with the Engaged Feedback approach: sit beside people, acknowledge strengths, address challenges collaboratively, and frame development as growth and opportunity.Pro tipWhen failure is not an option, learning, creativity, and innovation become impossible. Create explicit permission for 'good failure,' failure that produces learning rather than punishment.WarningEliminating shame does not mean eliminating accountability. Brown draws a sharp line: holding people accountable for behavior is essential; shaming people for who they are is destructive.
- Create a Manifesto of EngagementDevelop a shared commitment document (like the Daring Greatly Leadership Manifesto) that articulates what people need from leaders and what leaders commit to providing. Make it mutual: the manifesto should include what both sides commit to showing up and contributing.Pro tipThe Daring Greatly Manifesto includes: 'We want to show up, we want to learn, and we want to inspire. Feedback is a function of respect. Above all else, we ask that you show up, let yourself be seen, and be courageous. Dare Greatly with us.'WarningA manifesto without changed behavior is worse than no manifesto at all. It becomes evidence of the very gap between aspirational and practiced values that breeds cynicism.
The Inc. Entrepreneur of the Year identified the fear of being ridiculed and belittled as the single greatest barrier to creativity and innovation. He noted that people believe they are only as good as their ideas, and that innovative ideas often sound crazy. The result: people focus only on what they already do well and never put themselves out there.
CEO Christine Day described Lululemon's approach to failure: 'Our golden rule? If you screw up, you clean it up.' The company actively sought 'magic makers' who took responsibility, took risks, and had entrepreneurial spirit. Day noted that athletes thrived in the culture because 'they're used to winning as well as losing. They know how to handle and fix defeat.'
This framework emerged when Brown noticed that the same dynamics she observed in families and schools were playing out identically in organizations. Her conversation with Kevin Surace (Inc.'s 2009 Entrepreneur of the Year) confirmed that the greatest barrier to innovation was not lack of ideas but the fear of being ridiculed for sharing them, a shame dynamic. Simultaneously, a middle school student described the same pattern in the classroom: 'Most of us learn it's best to just keep your head down, your mouth shut, and your grades high.' Brown realized that the CEO and the student were describing the same problem: scarcity cultures where shame silences contribution.
The manifesto emerged when Brown asked herself what employees would say to their leaders, what students would say to their teachers, and what everyone would ask for if they could ask for the leadership they needed.