Expressing Anger Fully
Express anger in a way that promotes understanding and connection
This framework helps individuals express their anger in a way that promotes understanding and connection, rather than perpetuating conflict and violence. By recognizing the life-serving core of anger and expressing it fully, individuals can create a more positive and constructive outcome.
- All anger has a life-serving core.
- Anger is a result of life-alienating, violence-provoking thinking.
- The cause of anger lies in our thinking—in thoughts of blame and judgment.
- Recognize the life-serving core of angerUnderstand that anger is a natural emotion that arises from unmet needs and desires.Pro tipReflect on your needs and desires to identify the underlying cause of your anger.WarningAvoid suppressing or denying your anger, as this can lead to further conflict and violence.
- Express anger fullyExpress your anger in a way that promotes understanding and connection, rather than perpetuating conflict and violence.Pro tipUse 'I' statements to express your feelings and needs, rather than 'you' statements that blame or accuse others.WarningAvoid getting stuck in judgmental thinking, which can perpetuate anger and conflict.
- Focus on your needsConnect with your underlying needs and desires, rather than focusing on the actions of others.Pro tipUse empathy and understanding to connect with others and create a more positive outcome.WarningAvoid blaming or punishing others for your emotions.
A prisoner is angry because the prison officials have not responded to his request. Through reflection and expression of his anger, he is able to connect with his underlying needs and desires and create a more positive outcome.
Marshall Rosenberg is hit on the nose by a student, but is able to respond empathetically and effectively, rather than reacting with anger.
Marshall Rosenberg developed this framework as part of his Nonviolent Communication approach, which emphasizes the importance of understanding and expressing emotions and needs in a way that promotes connection and understanding.