Observing Without Evaluating
Separate facts from judgments
Observing without evaluating is a crucial component of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It involves separating observations from evaluations, judgments, and criticisms. This framework helps individuals to communicate more effectively, avoiding blame and defensiveness. By focusing on observable facts, people can express their needs and feelings without attacking or judging others.
- Separate observations from evaluations and judgments
- Focus on observable facts rather than interpretations or criticisms
- Use language that describes what is happening in the present moment, rather than making generalizations or assumptions
- Identify the ObservationClearly describe what you see, hear, or experience without adding any evaluation or judgment. Focus on the specific behavior or action that is affecting you.Pro tipUse specific language to describe the observation, avoiding generalizations or assumptions.WarningBe careful not to mix observations with evaluations, as this can lead to blame and defensiveness.
- Separate the Observation from the EvaluationRecognize when you are adding an evaluation or judgment to the observation and separate the two. Ask yourself if the evaluation is based on facts or assumptions.Pro tipUse phrases like 'I see that...' or 'I notice that...' to help separate the observation from the evaluation.WarningBe aware of your own biases and assumptions, and try to set them aside when making observations.
- Express the Observation without JudgmentCommunicate the observation to the other person without adding any judgment or criticism. Use 'I' statements to express your feelings and needs, rather than 'you' statements that can come across as accusatory.Pro tipUse non-judgmental language to describe the observation, focusing on the specific behavior or action rather than making a generalization about the person.WarningAvoid using language that implies blame or criticism, as this can lead to defensiveness and hurt feelings.
A principal had a habit of telling stories during faculty meetings, which would often run overtime. The staff tried to address the issue by making evaluative comments, but this only led to defensiveness. By using Observing Without Evaluating, the staff was able to clearly describe the specific behavior that was affecting them and find a solution that worked for everyone.
Marshall B. Rosenberg, the author of the book, developed the concept of Observing Without Evaluating as part of his work on Nonviolent Communication. He was inspired by the idea that people can communicate more effectively by separating facts from judgments and focusing on empathy and honesty.