Receiving Empathically
Hear others with empathy
Receiving empathically is a crucial part of nonviolent communication. It involves listening to others with the intention of understanding their feelings, needs, and requests. This framework helps individuals to create a safe and supportive environment where others feel heard and understood.
- Listen with the intention of understanding the other person's feelings and needs.
- Avoid giving advice or trying to fix the problem, and instead focus on understanding the other person's perspective.
- Use active listening skills, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding, to show that you are engaged and interested in the conversation.
- Give the speaker your undivided attentionMake eye contact, put away distractions, and focus on the speaker. This helps to create a safe and supportive environment where the speaker feels heard and understood.Pro tipUse nonverbal cues, such as nodding and tilting your head, to show that you are engaged and interested in the conversation.WarningAvoid interrupting or finishing the speaker's sentences, as this can make them feel unheard and unvalued.
- Paraphrase and reflect what the speaker has saidRepeat back what you have heard the speaker say, in your own words. This helps to ensure that you understand the speaker's perspective and it also helps the speaker to feel heard and understood.Pro tipUse phrases such as 'Just to make sure I understand, you're saying...' or 'So, what I hear you saying is...'WarningAvoid paraphrasing in a way that changes the meaning of what the speaker has said.
- Ask open-ended questions to gather more informationAsk questions that encourage the speaker to share more information and that cannot be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. This helps to deepen your understanding of the speaker's perspective and it also helps the speaker to feel heard and understood.Pro tipUse phrases such as 'Can you tell me more about...' or 'How did you feel when...'WarningAvoid asking leading questions or questions that assume a particular answer.
- Reflect the speaker's feelings and needsReflect back the speaker's feelings and needs, and try to understand what is driving their emotions. This helps to create a sense of empathy and understanding, and it also helps the speaker to feel heard and understood.Pro tipUse phrases such as 'I sense that you're feeling...' or 'I hear that you're needing...'WarningAvoid minimizing or dismissing the speaker's feelings, as this can make them feel unheard and unvalued.
One friend is sharing their feelings and needs with the other friend, who is listening empathically. The listener is giving the speaker their undivided attention, paraphrasing and reflecting what the speaker has said, and asking open-ended questions to gather more information.
The manager is using receiving empathically to understand the employee's concerns and needs. The manager is giving the employee their undivided attention, paraphrasing and reflecting what the employee has said, and asking open-ended questions to gather more information.
Marshall B. Rosenberg developed this framework as part of his nonviolent communication approach. He recognized the importance of empathy in building strong and meaningful relationships.