The Value Visualization Exercise
Try on new values like clothing to discover which ones truly fit your life
Manson presents a counterintuitive visualization technique: instead of visualizing the things you want, visualize not wanting them. If all you care about is your fleet of boats, sit down and seriously ask yourself what your life would look like if you no longer valued those boats. Which relationships would change? What would happen to your business commitments? How would your understanding of yourself shift? This exercise works because it reveals how deeply a particular value is embedded in your identity and what you would gain and lose by releasing it. Most self-help visualization is about amplifying desire, but this technique is about loosening attachment to examine whether your values are truly chosen or merely inherited. By trying on different values like clothing in a store, you can consciously decide what to optimize your life around rather than blindly chasing whatever you were programmed to chase.
- Most peoples values are inherited, not consciously chosen
- Visualizing not wanting something reveals how deeply a value controls your life
- Values can be tried on like clothing before committing to them
- The self is an arbitrary construct that can be consciously redesigned
- Identify Your Core ValuesWrite down what you currently value most in life - money, status, family, creativity, freedom, security, etc. Be brutally honest about what actually drives your behavior, not what you think should drive it. Look at where you spend your time and money for the real answers rather than relying on aspirational self-descriptions.Pro tipYour actual values are revealed by your behavior, not your stated beliefs - follow the time and money
- Visualize the Absence of Each ValueFor each value, sit down and seriously imagine your life if that value disappeared. If you no longer cared about money, what would change? What relationships would survive? What would you do with your time? This is not about achieving the absence but about understanding how deeply each value shapes your life and whether that shaping serves you.Pro tipThis exercise is deliberately uncomfortable - the discomfort reveals the depth of attachment to each valueWarningThis is an exploratory exercise, not a commitment to abandon any particular value
- Try On Alternative ValuesAfter examining your current values through their absence, experiment with alternative values. What if you valued contribution over accumulation? Freedom over security? Depth over breadth? Live experimentally with a new value for a period and observe how it changes your decisions, relationships, and sense of satisfaction.Pro tipThe period of mourning when releasing an old value is normal and expected - treat it like a relationship ending
Manson describes a hypothetical person who values wealth above all else, represented by a fleet of boats. When they sit down and seriously visualize not wanting those boats, they realize that many of their relationships are transactional, their business commitments are driven by status rather than purpose, and their self-understanding is built on a foundation they never consciously chose.
Manson developed this technique after studying Kants moral philosophy and Buddhist concepts of no-self. He realized that most peoples values are not consciously chosen but inherited from parents, culture, and early experiences. The standard self-help advice to visualize what you want just reinforces existing values without questioning them. By inverting the exercise - visualizing the absence of a desire - people can examine their values from the outside and decide whether to keep or replace them.