COMMUNICATIONWeeks to result

NVC Process

Connect with compassion

Problem it solves

poor communication

Best for

Individuals and groups seeking to improve communication and resolve conflicts

Not ideal for

Those who are not willing to listen and understand others' perspectives

Overview

Why this framework exists

The NVC Process is a framework for communication that focuses on observing, feeling, needing, and requesting. It helps individuals connect with each other and themselves, fostering deep listening, respect, and empathy. The process involves expressing oneself honestly and receiving others' messages empathically, leading to a mutual desire to give from the heart.

Core principles

5 total
  1. Observe without judgment
  2. Express feelings and needs honestly
  3. Receive others' messages with empathy
  4. Focus on the present moment
  5. Seek mutual understanding and connection

Steps

4 steps
  1. Observe
    Observe the situation, the other person, and yourself without judgment. Focus on the concrete actions that affect your well-being.
    Pro tipPractice mindfulness to improve your observation skills
    WarningAvoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions
  2. Feel
    Identify and express your feelings in relation to what you observe. Recognize the emotions that arise from your needs and values.
    Pro tipUse 'I' statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming others
    WarningDon't confuse feelings with thoughts or judgments
  3. Need
    Discover the needs, values, and desires that create your feelings. Understand what you need to enrich your life and the lives of others.
    Pro tipReflect on your values and priorities to clarify your needs
    WarningAvoid confusing needs with strategies or demands
  4. Request
    Make a concrete request to enrich your life and the lives of others. Focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want.
    Pro tipUse positive language and specify what you want to happen
    WarningAvoid making demands or threats

Checklist

Saved in your browser

Examples

2 cases
Resolving a conflict

A couple uses the NVC Process to resolve a conflict. They observe their actions, express their feelings and needs, and make a request to enrich their relationship.

OutcomeThe couple resolves the conflict and deepens their connection.
Improving a workplace relationship

A manager uses the NVC Process to improve a relationship with an employee. The manager observes the employee's behavior, expresses appreciation, and makes a request to enhance their working relationship.

OutcomeThe employee feels valued and understood, and the working relationship improves.

Common mistakes

3 traps
Judging or blaming others
Judging or blaming others can lead to defensiveness and hinder connection. Instead, focus on observing and expressing your own feelings and needs.
Not listening empathically
Failing to listen empathically can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Make an effort to understand the other person's perspective and feelings.
Confusing needs with strategies
Confusing needs with strategies can lead to ineffective communication. Clarify your needs and values before making requests.

Origin story

How this framework came to be

The NVC Process was developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, who sought to create a language of compassion and understanding. He drew from his experiences in mediation, counseling, and teaching, and refined the process over time through practice and feedback.

Source

Traced to primary
Source · BOOK
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
Marshall B. Rosenberg · 2015
Open source →