Requesting Honesty
Ask for specific feedback
Requesting honesty involves asking others to provide specific feedback, such as their feelings, thoughts, or willingness to take action. This framework requires being conscious of the specific form of honesty desired and making that request in concrete language.
- Be conscious of the specific form of honesty desired
- Make the request for honesty in concrete language
- Specify which thoughts or feelings you would like to receive
- Determine the Form of Honesty DesiredDetermine what specific form of honesty you would like to receive, such as feelings, thoughts, or willingness to take action.Pro tipBe clear and specific about what you want to knowWarningAvoid being vague or open-ended
- Make the Request for HonestyMake the request for honesty in concrete language, specifying which thoughts or feelings you would like to receive.Pro tipUse 'I' statements to convey your requestWarningAvoid being confrontational or accusatory
Requesting Honesty in a Personal Relationship
Jack asks his friend Jane to spend the evening with him, and she declines. Jack then asks Jane to tell him how she feels about his request and her reasons for feeling that way.
OutcomeJane provides Jack with honest feedback, and they have a more open and respectful conversation.
Not Being Specific About the Request
Failing to be specific about the request for honesty can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.
The concept of requesting honesty is rooted in the idea that clear and specific feedback is essential for building strong relationships and achieving personal growth.
Source · BOOK
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life