Requesting Reflection
Ask for clarity
Requesting reflection is a process of asking others to reflect back what they hear us say, to ensure understanding and clarity. This framework involves expressing appreciation when the listener tries to meet the request for a reflection and empathizing with the listener who doesn't want to reflect back.
- Express appreciation when the listener tries to meet the request for a reflection
- Empathize with the listener who doesn't want to reflect back
- Be clear about the kind of understanding or honesty desired
- Express YourselfClearly express yourself to the other person, using 'I' statements to convey your thoughts and feelings.Pro tipBe specific and concise in your expressionWarningAvoid blaming or attacking language
- Request ReflectionAsk the other person to reflect back what they hear you say, to ensure understanding and clarity.Pro tipUse open-ended questions to encourage reflectionWarningAvoid being confrontational or accusatory
- Empathize with the ListenerEmpathize with the listener who doesn't want to reflect back, and try to understand their perspective.Pro tipUse active listening skills to understand the listener's concernsWarningAvoid being judgmental or critical
A group of citizens concerned about racism in their community invited Marshall Rosenberg to observe their discussions. He suggested that they conduct their meeting as usual and that he would let them know if he saw any ways NVC might help.
The concept of requesting reflection is rooted in the idea that clear communication is essential for building strong relationships. By asking others to reflect back what they hear us say, we can ensure that our message is conveyed accurately and avoid misunderstandings.