Sex-Differentiated Mating Psychology
Evolutionary roots of jealousy
This framework explores the evolutionary roots of sex differences in jealousy, including the universality of men's greater upset about a partner's sexual infidelity and women's greater upset about emotional infidelity. It also examines the role of parental investment, mate value, and resource allocation in shaping these differences.
- Men and women have evolved to respond differently to threats to their relationships due to differences in parental investment and mate value.
- Sex differences in jealousy are universal across cultures, but the magnitude of these differences can vary depending on cultural context.
- The green-eyed monster of jealousy is a key driver of mate guarding and mate poaching behaviors.
- Identify the source of the threatDetermine whether the threat is due to a partner's sexual or emotional infidelity, and assess the magnitude of the threat.Pro tipConsider the cultural context and the partner's mate value when evaluating the threat.WarningBe aware of the potential for biased perceptions and overestimation of the threat.
- Gather informationCollect cues and evidence to inform mate guarding or mate poaching strategies.Pro tipUse verbal and nonverbal signals to gather information, and be aware of the potential for deception.WarningBe cautious not to overstep boundaries or engage in coercive behaviors.
- Deploy mate guarding strategiesUse tactics such as vigilance, possessiveness, and emotional manipulation to protect one's relationship.Pro tipBe aware of the potential for escalation and consider the partner's perspective.WarningAvoid using coercive or violent behaviors, as these can have negative consequences for the relationship and the partner's well-being.
- Resist mate guardingUse tactics such as evasion, deception, or open communication to resist a partner's mate guarding behaviors.Pro tipConsider the partner's motivations and be aware of the potential for escalation.WarningBe cautious not to engage in coercive or manipulative behaviors, as these can damage the relationship.
A Himba man explained his reaction to his wife's infidelity by saying that it meant he would have to divert resources to his wife's lover's children.
A woman may resist her partner's mate guarding behaviors by using tactics such as evasion or open communication.
The framework is based on research by evolutionary anthropologist Brooke Scelza and others, who have studied sex differences in jealousy across cultures.