Honest Mirrors and Supportive Mirrors Framework
Clarify feedback needs
This framework helps individuals clarify what they are asking of their friends and colleagues in terms of feedback, whether they need honesty or support. By being clear about their needs, individuals can avoid crossed wires and receive more effective feedback.
- Be clear about what you are asking for in terms of feedback
- Distinguish between honesty and support in feedback
- Create a safe and supportive environment for feedback
- Identify Your Feedback NeedsDetermine whether you need honesty or support in a particular situationPro tipBe specific about what you are looking for in terms of feedbackWarningFailing to clarify your needs may lead to ineffective or unhelpful feedback
- Communicate Your NeedsClearly communicate your feedback needs to othersPro tipUse 'I' statements to express your needs and avoid blaming or accusing othersWarningFailing to communicate your needs may lead to misunderstandings or unhelpful feedback
Asking for Feedback
An individual asks a friend for feedback on a project, specifying that they need honesty rather than support
OutcomeThe friend provides constructive feedback that helps the individual improve the project
Failing to Clarify Feedback Needs
Not being clear about what you are asking for in terms of feedback can lead to ineffective or unhelpful feedback
Not Communicating Feedback Needs
Failing to communicate your feedback needs to others can lead to misunderstandings or unhelpful feedback
The concept of honest mirrors and supportive mirrors is rooted in the idea that people we rely on for support may be hesitant to share critical feedback with us. By acknowledging this dynamic, individuals can take steps to create a safe and supportive environment for feedback.
Source · BOOK
Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well