MINDSETWeeks to result

Permission Framework

Giving yourself permission to grieve

Problem it solves

guilt or shame related to their grief

Best for

Individuals struggling with guilt or shame related to their grief

Not ideal for

Those who are not ready to confront their emotions

Overview

Why this framework exists

The Permission Framework emphasizes the importance of giving oneself permission to grieve, without judgment or expectation. It recognizes that grief is a unique and individualized process, and that individuals must be allowed to navigate their emotions in their own way.

Core principles

3 total
  1. Grief is a unique and individualized process.
  2. Individuals must be allowed to navigate their emotions in their own way.
  3. Self-compassion and self-awareness are essential for navigating the grieving process.

Steps

3 steps
  1. Recognize that grief is a unique and individualized process
    Understand that grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience, and that individuals must be allowed to navigate their emotions in their own way.
    Pro tipPractice self-compassion and self-awareness to increase understanding of your own grief process.
    WarningAvoid comparing your grief process to others, as this can lead to feelings of guilt or shame.
  2. Give yourself permission to grieve
    Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions, without judgment or expectation.
    Pro tipPractice mindfulness and self-reflection to increase self-awareness and self-compassion.
    WarningAvoid suppressing emotions, as this can hinder the grieving process.
  3. Develop a self-compassionate mindset
    Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, as you navigate the grieving process.
    Pro tipPractice self-care and engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction.
    WarningAvoid self-criticism, as this can exacerbate grief.

Checklist

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Examples

2 cases
Giving yourself permission to grieve

An individual who experienced a significant loss gave themselves permission to grieve, without judgment or expectation.

OutcomeThe individual experienced increased self-awareness, self-compassion, and emotional regulation, and was able to navigate the grieving process in a more adaptive way.
Developing a self-compassionate mindset

An individual who experienced a significant loss developed a self-compassionate mindset, treating themselves with kindness, understanding, and patience.

OutcomeThe individual experienced increased self-awareness, self-compassion, and emotional regulation, and was able to navigate the grieving process in a more adaptive way.

Common mistakes

3 traps
Comparing your grief process to others
Comparing your grief process to others can lead to feelings of guilt or shame, and hinder the grieving process.
Suppressing emotions
Suppressing emotions can hinder the grieving process and lead to increased emotional distress.
Self-criticism
Self-criticism can exacerbate grief and hinder the grieving process.

Origin story

How this framework came to be

The Permission Framework is rooted in the understanding that grief is a complex and highly individualized process. It recognizes that traditional models of grief may not accurately capture the nuances of human experience, and that individuals must be allowed to navigate their emotions in their own way.

Source

Traced to primary
Source · PODCAST
Healing From Grief & Loss | Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor
Andrew Huberman · 2025
Open source →

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