MINDSETMonths to result

Would've, Could've, Should've Framework

Reframing regretful thoughts

Problem it solves

regretful thoughts after a loss

Best for

Individuals struggling with regretful thoughts after a loss

Not ideal for

Those who are not ready to confront their emotions

Overview

Why this framework exists

The Would've, Could've, Should've Framework is about recognizing and reframing regretful thoughts that can arise after a loss. It involves understanding that these thoughts are a natural response to grief, but can also hinder the healing process. This framework is essential for individuals who struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or responsibility after a loss.

Core principles

3 total
  1. Recognize the pattern of would've, could've, should've thoughts.
  2. Understand that these thoughts are a natural response to grief.
  3. Reframe regretful thoughts to focus on the present moment.

Steps

2 steps
  1. Recognize Regretful Thoughts
    Acknowledge the pattern of would've, could've, should've thoughts that arise after a loss. Understand that these thoughts are a natural response to grief.
    Pro tipKeep a journal to track your thoughts and identify patterns.
    WarningAvoid getting stuck in regretful thoughts, as this can prolong the grieving process.
  2. Reframe Regretful Thoughts
    Challenge negative self-talk and reframe regretful thoughts to focus on the present moment. Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your emotions.
    Pro tipPractice mindfulness and focus on the present moment.
    WarningBe cautious of toxic relationships that can exacerbate feelings of guilt or shame.

Checklist

Saved in your browser

Examples

1 cases
A Friend's Story

A friend shares their experience with would've, could've, should've thoughts after a loss, highlighting the importance of reframing regretful thoughts in the healing process.

OutcomeThe friend's story illustrates the effectiveness of the Would've, Could've, Should've Framework in facilitating healing and growth.

Common mistakes

1 traps
Getting Stuck in Regret
Avoid getting stuck in regretful thoughts, as this can prolong the grieving process and lead to further emotional distress.

Origin story

How this framework came to be

The concept of would've, could've, should've thoughts is rooted in the idea that individuals often struggle with regret and self-blame after a loss. Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor discusses the importance of reframing these thoughts in the healing process, highlighting the need to recognize and challenge negative self-talk.

Source

Traced to primary
Source · PODCAST
Healing From Grief & Loss | Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor
Andrew Huberman · 2025
Open source →

Related frameworks

Browse all Mindset →