The Two Lists Framework
Separate what's wrong from what's right
The Two Lists Framework is a tool for separating what's wrong with feedback from what might be right or helpful. By making two lists, individuals can free themselves to see what might be valid or reasonable in the feedback, rather than getting defensive or dismissive. This framework is useful for improving relationships, communication skills, and personal growth.
- Separate what's wrong from what's right to improve relationships and communication
- Use feedback as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness
- Be open to different perspectives and willing to learn from others
- Make two listsWrite down what's wrong with the feedback in one list and what might be right or helpful in another list.Pro tipUse a physical notebook or digital tool to make the lists, and be as specific as possible.WarningAvoid getting caught up in emotions or defensiveness when making the lists.
- Discuss the lists with a trusted friend or mentorShare the lists with someone you trust and ask for their feedback and insights.Pro tipChoose someone who is supportive and non-judgmental, and be open to their perspectives.WarningAvoid being defensive or dismissive of their feedback.
- Reflect on the feedback and identify areas for growthUse the lists to identify areas where you can improve and grow, and make a plan to work on those areas.Pro tipBe specific and actionable in your plan, and set realistic goals and deadlines.WarningAvoid being too hard on yourself or getting discouraged by setbacks.
Amy received feedback from her boss Ivan that she found offensive. With the help of her friend Hank, Amy used the Two Lists Framework to separate what was wrong with Ivan's approach from what might be right or helpful.
Everett received a 360 report that he found confounding and defensive. However, he eventually saw the value in the feedback and used it to improve himself.
The framework was introduced through the story of Amy, who received feedback from her boss Ivan that she found offensive. With the help of her friend Hank, Amy used the Two Lists Framework to separate what was wrong with Ivan's approach from what might be right or helpful.