The Three Triggers Framework
Understand triggers
The Three Triggers Framework helps individuals understand the triggers that prevent them from receiving feedback effectively. These triggers include truth triggers, relationship triggers, and identity triggers. By recognizing and managing these triggers, individuals can improve their ability to receive feedback and grow from it.
- Recognize that feedback triggers are a natural response to perceived threats or challenges.
- Understand that triggers can be managed and overcome with self-awareness and intentional practice.
- Separate the feedback from the trigger to focus on the content of the feedback rather than the emotional response.
- Identify Your TriggersBecome aware of your emotional responses to feedback and identify the triggers that drive those responses. This may involve reflecting on past experiences and recognizing patterns in your reactions.Pro tipKeep a journal or log to track your responses to feedback and identify common triggers.WarningBe honest with yourself about your triggers and avoid blaming others for your reactions.
- Separate Feedback from TriggerWhen receiving feedback, separate the content of the feedback from your emotional response to it. Focus on the specific behaviors or actions that are being addressed, rather than making a personal attack or taking it as a criticism of your identity.Pro tipTake a pause before responding to feedback to collect your thoughts and separate the feedback from your emotional response.WarningAvoid getting defensive or dismissive, as this can prevent you from hearing and learning from the feedback.
- Address Relationship TriggersWhen receiving feedback from someone with whom you have a personal or professional relationship, address any relationship triggers that may be present. This may involve discussing the feedback in the context of the relationship and clarifying any misunderstandings or concerns.Pro tipUse 'I' statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming or attacking the other person.WarningAvoid switchtracking, where you change the subject to a different issue or topic, as this can prevent resolution and understanding.
- Manage Identity TriggersWhen receiving feedback that challenges your identity or sense of self, manage your identity triggers by recognizing that the feedback is not a personal attack. Instead, focus on the specific behaviors or actions that are being addressed and use the feedback as an opportunity for growth and learning.Pro tipPractice self-compassion and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes and that feedback is an opportunity for growth.WarningAvoid distorting or magnifying the feedback, as this can prevent you from hearing and learning from it.
Kip receives feedback from Nancy that he is biased against candidates with nontraditional backgrounds. Initially, Kip dismisses the feedback, but eventually comes to understand Nancy's perspective and recognizes his own blind spots.
Miriam receives feedback from Sam that she is being aloof at a family gathering. Miriam feels unappreciated and hurt, and switchtracks to discuss her feelings about Sam's lack of appreciation.
The framework is based on the idea that our reactions to feedback are often driven by underlying triggers, rather than the feedback itself. By understanding and addressing these triggers, we can improve our ability to receive feedback and use it for personal growth.